​HOW CAN ANYONE POSSIBLY FORGET A CHILD IN A HOT CAR!?

Shock. Disbelief. Anger. Disgust. Sorrow. 

Even after 3 years of following and studying these accidents in detail, every summer as the deaths tick off one by one, I still feel incredible disbelief that anyone could forget their child in the backseat of a hot car. My god, your very own child was literally no more than inches behind you! You just put them in there probably no more than 15~20 minutes ago! How can you not remember them and moreover, how can you forget them for an entire day! I took my youngest to day care for 3, 4 years every morning and never remember once even having a close call. 

And so we all conclude that since its obviously nearly impossible for anyone to do this and we have never done it ourselves or know of anyone who has, then these accidents can have only one explanation – they happened because of some underlying deep character defect and dark flaw in the parent – irresponsible, careless, negligent, overly busy, self absorbed, stupid. In other words, because they were a terrible parent to begin with. 

But there is one other explanation, as hard as it is to swallow. Yes, the parent was defective. But it wasn’t a character defect. It was a defect we all have – the human brain. 

No one’s brain is flawless. We all forget things. But, you scream, “Wait! This is completely different! I bet that parent didn't forget their phone or purse in the car, did they! How can anyone forget their own child in the car??! “

I've read somewhere in the neighborhood of around 200 newspaper and TV articles minimum that reported on about 90 "forgotten child" hot car deaths in the last 6 years. After going through and noting similarities and patterns, here’s what I have concluded and think how the seemingly impossible still happens despite our disbelief anyone coudl do this. I want to emphasize before you read it that this is not meant to be an excuse or rationalization! It is an explanation like an engineer would put forth to better understand what is causing a problem, which is actually exactly why I did it in the first place. 

First, we know the first thing that happens is that the child falls asleep. Not making a sound. 

Second, we know then that somewhere at some point as the child is sleeping, the parent's mind began to wander and thoughts of stopping off at the daycare were crowded out by other plans, schedules, worries, problems, or perhaps just concentrating on being a good driver in scary traffic. Who knows? But then, auto pilot took over. Muscle memory, habit, routine - these are powerful things for anyone and under any circumstances. Doubly so should it be the non-routine parent taking the child that morning. 

The key point is that this perception or image we all have of the parent forgetting their child just as they are getting out of the car with the child but inches behind them is completely misleading. 

The child wasn't forgotten then! The accident didn't happen then! The accident actually happened 20 or 30 minutes before that when they forgot something much easier to forget because it isn't a physical thing behind them - they forgot one stop along the way. Like when the father of Ray-Ray Cavaliero turned right one fateful morning in 2011 at a light like he did every morning hundreds of times before that and then straight to work  – instead of left to the babysitters. Or like when the mother of Bo Papke last summer work up late and hurried to get her 2 older ones to school on time and then continued on with her 4 month old to his daycare. Only she didn’t end up at the daycare. She passed up the turn and went straight to her job. Or like when the father of Chase Harrison took a phone call from work while driving on the expressway with his son in the morning. On the way, he passed the exit for the daycare. 

It was at that moment of missed turns and missed exits when the lives of their children began to hang in the balance – not 20 minutes later when they got to their job and opened up their driver’s door and left without looking back. Of course they didn’t look back. Why would have it even crossed their minds at that point? They were at their jobs and naturally did what we all would have done. – went straight into the building where they worked.

So how can a parent forget to take their own child out of the car? I think the answer is that it’s not so much a case of forgetting a sleeping child just inches behind you but rather, a matter of doing something much, much easier to do – forgetting about one planned stop along the way and your brain going on auto-pilot. We’ve all done it. Get back to the house, go about things, and then half an hour later when we start thinking about making dinner we are smacking ourselves on the forehead because we realize we forgot to stop off at the store on the way home to buy the spaghetti noodles...or forgot to return those library books or swing by the Redbox / bank / gas station on the way home

That is how these anyone can forget a child in the back seat of a hot car - circumstances conspire to bring a perfect storm of fatal distraction. 

But how can the parent go all day without thinking about their child at work? 

2 theories here. One, not all of us have office jobs with time to daydream in front of a computer or with cubicles where we can put pictures of our family and kids. Some people have jobs that are very active and where they are engaging with lots of people all day intensely and/or which require care and concentration. Think of an overworked nurse, think of  a teacher, think of someone on an assembly line, think of a stock broker screaming on the phone all day, a guy on a bulldozer, a restaurant manager or a waitress at a busy restaurant.  

Second, don't want to sound chauvinistic, although I can easily see "moms" thinking about their child through the day, is the same true of fathers and relatives? It's an important question because "fathers and baby sitting relatives" were responsible for fully 67% of the 90 or deaths that have occured in the last 6 years. Sheds some light on things, doesn't it? (go to the "Statistics" page for proof of that).

But how can the parent forget their child but not their cell phone or purse?

My theory is that when the parent is sitting there in the parking lot of their job having just turned off the ignition and and just about to get out of the car, they are mentally looking or thinking about things they need before they go into the building. A "baby" is not something that comes up on that mental check list when you are in the parking lot of your job - a cell phone or purse does. In fact, I think that the act of mentally "looking" or checking for the purse or cell phone distracts the parent even further. "Got my purse, got my keys, got my lunch, OK, got everything I need for work, we are good to go".

I'm not trying to make excuses here for anyone and in fact, the irony is that with my invention, no parent has ANY excuse anymore for any reason except they did not know about it.  Personally I think that if it would have an effect on other parents, these incidents should be brought to trial. But, this would only come true if the sentences given out in these cases was to do community service by speaking in front of parents at classes for new parents at hospitals. Hopefully the judges would be smart enough to realize this. 

What I am trying to do is to disabuse people of this notion that they could never do anything like this because they are not a "bad" or "irresponsible" or a "self centered" parent and also to make people who make statements along those lines that they are only helping to see this problem continue. How is that so? It's so because there is not a parent in the world who thinks of themselves in that way and so they think they are not susceptible because they don't fall into any of those categories. They laugh and shake at their heads at the mere suggestion. And when they read comments from other people repeating this, it just reinforces this false sense of confidence. And so the needless deaths continue.  

​WHAT I WROTE ABOVE IS JUST MY PERSONAL THEORY. HERE IS THAT THEORY BECOMING REALITY: 

Any time one of these accidents occur, people leave comments below the articles. And without fail, there is always someone who says they themselves have done this. Below is just a sample of the "confessions" I have collected. They are real people and after reading their stories, I hope that those who ask, 'How can anyone forget their child!?" will now get it that it CAN and DOES happen. People need to stop denying the impossibility of this happening and wake up and smell the coffee!


http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/07/11/summer-car-safety-look-before-you-lock-and-more/?_php=true&_type=blogs&comments&_r=0#permid=12279390:12282418

E-Pluribus-Unum Silver Spring, MD 7 days ago

Before I had kids, I read these kinds of stories and thought, "What kind of idiot could leave a kid in a car?" Then I had a kid and I learned that, apparently, I'm that kind of idiot because I did it. We were visiting my mom, so it was a change of routine and a different car. I left my three-month-old sleeping in the back while I ran into my mom's house to get something or other. I got distracted, started doing some other things, and soon an hour went by before my mom realized what had happened. My daughter was fine -- it was winter, she was dressed warmly, and she stayed sleeping -- but it shook me to the core. This kind of thing can happen to anyone. Do whatever you must to help remind you to check for your kid back there.



http://www.mommyish.com/2013/07/19/alabama-mom-heartbroken-after-daughter-dies-in-locked-car/

Leslie 

My husband and I were almost these parents - when my daughter was 10.5 months old my husband picked her up from daycare, drove home and went into the house completely forgetting her in the back of the car. I got home about and hour or so later and asked where the baby was. Fortunately for all of us it was a relatively cool day and the car was parked in the shade but I don't think either of us will ever forget that moment of sickening fear as we raced to the car. I normally did the pickup from daycare, she was teething and neither of us was sleeping much and the change in routine plus exhaustion could have been a lethal combination.

http://blogs.babycenter.com/tips_and_tricks/20130605-child-deaths-in-hot-cars-three-ways-to-prevent-tragedy/

Cass says:
June 7, 2013 at 9:13 am
I forgot my first child in the car once.

I was always one of those who said; “How could anyone forget their own child in a car?” She was new. I’d never had a baby before, and I swear, I literally forgot I had this precious child in my backseat. She was sleeping, and I just forgot she was there…not making a sound. Thankfully I was only out of the car for 15 minutes and she was fine…but I cried and cried and felt so guilty about leaving her. I don’t think I’ve really forgiven myself for that. And this is how I feel even though she was/is okay. I can’t imagine how it must feel to actually lose a baby like that…

​http://www.mommyish.com/2013/07/19/alabama-mom-heartbroken-after-daughter-dies-in-locked-car/

Jessie:

I agree with you!!! I've almost forgotten my son was in the backseat of my car when he was sleeping. I remember turning to look out my back window and seeing him there and almost jumping because I had forgotten he was there. I was told to leave your brief case in the back seat on the floor below the carseat so when you go to get it, you see the car seat and remember. When you've been driving yourself to work alone for 10-12 years, it's easy to forget you're not alone anymore. And NO, that doesn't mean we're not thinking of our child, it just means we're driving a car and concentrating on not running anyone down.

KSLA TV FACEBOOK COMMENTS 11/21/13

Moniesha Mrskennon Thomas Well I must admit I have been Omw to work before and was on the interstate before I realized I forgot to drop my baby who was in the backseat, off at daycare he was about 2 months. Does this make me a bad parent?? I think your comments are a bit harsh because some parents didn't get a chance to realize the baby was in the backseat.SMH

Letta Marx Smith When I was working it was my turn to bring breakfast to the morning meeting and I got out of my routine when I picked up breakfast first then I went to work...when I got there I turned around to get food from back seat and my baby was still there. It freaked me out. So I never altered my routine before dropping him off again. If I had to do something out of the ordinary I made sure I did it only after I dropped my baby off.


http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/could-you-forget-your-child-in-a-hot-07092013car/

Elodie says:
November 29, 2013 at 6:06 pm

Yesterday I forgot my baby son in my car. He is fine and safe now. I am still in shock and I don’t know if I’ll ever recover from this incident. I was driving to fetch my 2 years old from daycare and had my 9 month old baby at the back, facing the rear. On the way I thought he was being very silent and hoped he hadn’t fallen asleep because that would have screwed up his sleep routine. I played some music in the car, then I parked thinking of the best way to orient the car to get my other son in his car seat easily. Yesterday was the last day of the daycare before the Christmas holiday. The kids were supposed to have helped cleaning the entire school, we had supplied extra cloth in the morning, I couldn’t wait to think how that had gone. I hopped out of the car, locked it with the remote and made my way in the building. I discovered the class photos which had come out, discussed with the teacher, with another mother, watched my elder play around with his friend… I think 15min must have gone by until I felt a pang in my chest, something was wrong, where was my baby, I jumped, losing my shoes in the process and run like a demented to my car. I saw my baby’s little face covered in tears through the window and I grabbed him as fast as I could. he stopped crying immediately. I ran back in the school in distress, gave him water and wet his head. We live an Malaysia for my husband’s work, it is hot here. I was shaking and crying. I still cannot believe I did that. I cannot trust myself anymore, I feel sick.

http://www.thatsvandy.com/2010/07/forgetting-your-child-in-the-car-could-kill-10-tips-to-remember/
WENDY

What kind of a parent forgets their baby? Me. I’m not a working mom. My kids don’t go to daycare, yet I’ve made this mistake. It DOES happen when there is a change in your normal routine. I have 3 kids under the age of 4 and am used to going every where with all 3 (buckle, buckle, buckle…unbuckle, unbuckle, unbuckle). But one day my parents were visiting and I had to run to the grocery store. I left my 2 toddlers at my house playing with my dad and my mom and I went to the store and I brought the baby. I was busy chatting with my mom on the drive and the baby fell asleep. Since I didn’t have my talkative toddlers with me and I was distracted by my mom, I forgot all about my baby. When we got to the store I got out of the car and started to walk to the store’s entrance when my mom called out “what about the baby?” I was shocked at myself! I can’t believe I forgot her and in the 101 degree Texas heat! Thankfully I had my mom with me that day. I learned my lesson and now put my purse in front of my baby’s carseat.
Muscle memory is an amazing thing. We can place our kids in their carseat and drive familiar routes all without thinking about it. When we break our daily routines, horrible accidents like these can happen. Thank you for this post. I hope it gets a lot of attention

BRITTANY

Wendy I too have had this experience when I changed my routine on a Saturday morning and Ross took my 2 and 3 year old and I had my sister with me for the first time since I had Violet. I guess because she used to live here and I had never had Violet when I was with her my brain just switched to a different mode and without the other kids in the car making noises and singing my brain simply skipped over the idea that baby Violet was asleep in the car. My sister was not used to ever having Violet there either. We got to a restuarant, parked the car, commented on how it was already hot and walked in. Katie went straight to the bathroom and when the hostess asked how many and I said 2 and went to the table. When I sat down I realized I was actually 2 and a baby and started running and at the same time my sister came running out of the bathroom yelling where’s Violet? It had been maybe a minute but I was terrified. Thankfully Violet was okay and my good brain was jogged when I sat down without Violet – which never happens! I have reminders on my phone and on my car and still that day made the terrible mistake. I came back to my own tips here and implemented almost all of them! Thank God we both realized.

MELLISA

Such awesome advice. I once started walking into daycare to pick up my oldest and realized the baby was asleep in the car. I mean I barely even walked past my car before I remembered but it scared me to death at the WHAT IF, even I was only going to be in DC for 5 minutes.
I do the purse in the backseat thing and DH and I check on the older guy every morning (he emails me an update on how Big Roo did). Thanks for the reminder and the extra tips!

http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/141253/car_seat_alarms_wont_prevent

Facebook comment from Rose Savoie 
July 31, 2012 at 2:43 PM
holy judgemental people on here. It is SOO easy to forget your kid in the car. All it takes is a slight change in routine to throw you off and forget that you have your kid with you. It happened to me once. I was planning to go to my friends house sans kids, but the baby woke up just I was walking out the door, so my husband convinced me to grab her and bring her with me. When I got to my friends house I was still so focued on my kid free trip that I just forget I had actually brought her with me. Thankfully I was only inside her house for about 30 seconds when her kids started asking where the baby was, so I went back and got her, but that is just oe example to show how easy it is to forget


http://www.komonews.com/news/local/Woman-who-found-infant-in-car--251604581.html?tab=video&c=y

I am one of those "ferocious beast" type mothers you describe, but I can name two incidents where it happened to us too. Once when I was running errands, I had been in the store for five minutes before I realized I'd forgotten the baby. 

Another time, after returning from church, my husband and I unloaded the kids from the car. A half hour later, I realized I wasn't seeing one of the girls. My husband thought she went in with me and I'd put her down for a nap. I thought he had brought her in a couple minutes later with their stuff. She had wandered off and when we called the police, someone had just reported seeing her two blocks down from our home.

Fortunately, all six of our children survived to adulthood - but the point is that even the most diligent parents can have lapses occasionally. If I'd been working rather than just running quick errands that one day, I might have gone longer without noticing the baby was still in the car...

When I was in high school, my mother had to drive me to school a couple times on the way to work. Both times, she was on the freeway on-ramp heading to work before I reminded her that I was still in the car. It was outside her normal routine, so she forgot.

Yes, it is possible for such forgetfulness to strike everyone - even the best parents - at one time or another.

http://www.kboi2.com/news/local/Deputies-Wash-dad-left-infant-daughter-in-locked-car-for-hours-251520611.html

Abby Conley - 8 days ago

Me too Monica. It happened. I firmly believe our brains are not selective in the things that slip our minds. Have you ever gone to the store for milk, and come home without it? I know, I know people will say how much differently that is from forgetting a child. But it does happen. And to good, responsible people. Thankfully, this child is safe and sound. Mine too! I didn't tell anyone I had forgotten my 6 month old in the car for 15min. I was ashamed, embarrassed and scared. Thank God for all the perfect people, who could never forget something so important.

http://www.kboi2.com/news/local/Deputies-Wash-dad-left-infant-daughter-in-locked-car-for-hours-251520611.html

Monica Vasquez from Facebook8 days ago

Heidi I understand completely as I used to say the same thing. However I accidentally did once. A couple years ago. After getting out of the hospital for something that almost killed me. Being completely drained, and going into a depression from being laid off at work. I got my older 2 out of the car (they were able to unbuckle themselves) and my youngest was left in the car. It was for a short 10 minutes inside the house when my oldest asked where baby brother was that I realized my mistake ran out to the car anf held him tight in my arms the rest of the day. Sending me into a worse depression. He was okay but worse could have happened and it would have been my fault. Does that make me an irresponsible bad parent? No! I was going through something and should have made sure I haf people around me to help more when I thought I could handle the weight of the world. I was wrong.


Teresa McWain Roos from Facebook8 days ago

i almost did this once. when my schedule or routine changed i drove to work and did not drop my child off at day care. I then changed lanes and noticed she was still in the back seat!! I was able to turn around and drop her off then. it seems impossible to do but believe me it can happen to anyone when you are preocupied and your mind plays tricks on you (thinking you already dropped the child off). he will feel guilty forever. I still feel bad and I didn't even do it!! just almost did it.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/forgetful-dad-leaves-girl-parked-car-8-hours-article-1.1729099
Jboog
9 days ago

I agree ,the father probably was in a routine and didn't normally drop the baby off, this happened to me one time and forgot to drop the baby off , but I was only a few blocks away before I realized it.....


http://www.childrenswishingwell.org/carseat_safety

Lacie says:
Wednesday, 12th June 2013 at 6:57 pm
Tears…I am so sorry for your loss. We were going to an auction one day and was running late. I jumped in the car with my daughter and mother in law. My husband in his truck with his dad and our 3 year old son. We beat them there and got out and started walking around. My husband and his dad got out and starting looking around at a John deer tractor. We met up about 30 minutes later and we were just standing there and Rick asked, where’s aiden? My heart dropped! At first I thought omg u left him at home. But Shawn ran as fast as he could to his truck opened the back seat and there he was asleep and pouring sweat. It was well over 100 degrees that day. He was ok! So hot and sweaty. I still couldn’t believe the simplistic mistake of forgetting our son. It can happen to anyone. We were very fortunate.

​Rachel Lenda says:
Wednesday, 12th June 2013 at 8:25 pm
Praying for you all. My husband has left our baby in the car on a hot day after d
ropping me and the older girls off at a restaurant. When he got there I noticed he did not have the baby. He immediately ran to the car and thankfully she was fine but it made us aware of how easy this can happen.

Joey says:
Friday, 14th February 2014 at 7:08 am
I didnt hear about this when it happened, but I did the same thing when my son was a baby but my neighbour saw him; it could have so easily been the same story. I cannot imagine what you went through and must continue to go through every single day of your life. I Pray that God has given you his grace to move on for the sake of your other children. But I will be praying for your needs regardless of what they may be.


http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/169829/new_car_seat_saves_the?next=61#comments

Asteihr March 19, 2014 at 3:06 PM

I can tell you from experience that not all parents who forget a child do it because they are a bad or neglectful parent. My children are my whole world, and I am probably one if the most paranoid parents I know. I freak over the littlest of things, and worry constantly. However, when my boy were 5 and 3, I had my daughter. When she was about 2 months old or so, I took her to the store with me, but I didn't have my boys. Anyway, I got to the store, ran in and grabbed a cart. I realized right away that I didn't have my daughter and ran right back out to get her. All in saying is that before you act like bullies and judge people, you should think about the fact that you are not walking in that persons shoes. For me, I think it was more that I was used to grabbing my boys out of the car when I went anywhere so not having them there was what made it slip my mind. I can guarantee you though, that it is not a lack of love for my child! I'm sure that I will get a nice little bashing from all you bully mom out there, but that ok. Just thought I could shed a little light on the subject and be the only one to admit that I have done it, even if it was only for a split second.

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/law-order/what-happened-when-a-mum-forgot-her-baby-was-in-the-car/story-fni0fee2-1226810417252http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/law-order/what-happened-when-a-mum-forgot-her-baby-was-in-the-car/story-fni0fee2-1226810417252

Some parents at essentialbaby.com.au reacted the same way.

"I left my youngest daughter in the car once for an hour and a half," confided a parent. "We live in a very hot part of the world. I went to check on her when she had not stirred from her lunchtime nap ... Poor bub was so dehydrated. I have only told my husband, best friend and mother in real life ..."


Dr. Mom: Please, don't forget your child in back seat
By Dr. Melissa Arca
Special to The Bee
Published: Thursday, Jul. 12, 2012 - 12:00 am | Page 1D

Read more here: http://www.sacbee.com/2012/07/12/4624254/please-dont-forget-your-child.html#storylink=cpy

I remember last summer hearing of infants and toddlers being forgotten in the back seat as their parent went about their work day. And with deadly results.

I remember wondering, "How exactly does that happen?"

And then … one morning I found myself on the road to work, about to hit the freeway when I realized I still had my daughter in the back seat. I had not dropped her off at preschool yet. She was quiet, looking out the window.

I was on auto pilot, no doubt going through the laundry list of things to do that day. She was 3 at the time, and would have likely piped up and asked why she wasn't going to school.

But what about babies or toddlers, still rear-facing in their car seats, who happen to drift off to sleep during the drive? They're quiet and preverbal. A parent who is distracted, busy or doing something out of the ordinary that day (such as taking the child to day care) may be at great risk of doing just that.

http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/could-you-forget-your-child-in-a-hot-07092013car/

Becky says:
July 11, 2013 at 7:14 pm

Just because you think you are super vigilant and attentive doesn’t mean this can’t happen to you. I’m sure all these parents thought the same thing. I would never do anything intentionally to harm my children, yet one day I was out of my routine and after dropping my oldest at school instead of dropping both at daycare, I headed to work. Thankfully my youngest piped up from the backseat that this was not the way to daycare. I like to think I would have noticed her back there and thankfully I didn’t have to find out.


Elodie says:
November 29, 2013 at 6:06 pm
Yesterday I forgot my baby son in my car.
He is fine and safe now. I am still in shock and I don’t know if I’ll ever recover from this incident. I was driving to fetch my 2 years old from daycare and had my 9 month old baby at the back, facing the rear. On the way I thought he was being very silent and hoped he hadn’t fallen asleep because that would have screwed up his sleep routine. I played some music in the car, then I parked thinking of the best way to orient the car to get my other son in his car seat easily. Yesterday was the last day of the daycare before the Christmas holiday. The kids were supposed to have helped cleaning the entire school, we had supplied extra cloth in the morning, I couldn’t wait to think how that had gone. I hopped out of the car, locked it with the remote and made my way in the building. I discovered the class photos which had come out, discussed with the teacher, with another mother, watched my elder play around with his friend… I think 15min must have gone by until I felt a pang in my chest, something was wrong, where was my baby, I jumped, losing my shoes in the process and run like a demented to my car. I saw my baby’s little face covered in tears through the window and I grabbed him as fast as I could. he stopped crying immediately. I ran back in the school in distress, gave him water and wet his head. We live an Malaysia for my husband’s work, it is hot here. I was shaking and crying. I still cannot believe I did that. I cannot trust myself anymore, I feel sick.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=692877

Many months ago, I left to go get ice cream for the family, and my wife asked me to take one of the twins. I put him in the back of the car with a bottle, and (I assume) he almost immediately fell asleep. Never made a sound. By the time I got to the Baskin Robins, I had completely forgotten he was back there. I left him in hot weather in the car with the windows rolled up. I was in the store for about ten minutes, so very thankfully, the kid was not harmed. But when I got back out to the car and realized what had happened, I immediately woke him up and checked for alertness and felt his temperature etc. He seemed fine. I then sat in the front seat and wept for a good, long while.

http://www.parents.com/baby/safety/car/danger-of-hot-car-for-children/

CL6 days ago
When my daughter was first born, under a month old. I remember dropping off my 5 yr old, my husband, and my dog at the park to play before I went to the grocery store. I got to the store, got out of the car, went inside and about 15 minutes later while looking at yogurt then seeing baby yogurt I realized what I had done. I flew out of the store and ran to my van. It was December 50deg. And she was wrapped up nicely in her blankets. I was traumatized because I always thought "how could anyone forget their child, I'd never!" The only thing I can think of is that having my daughter around was so new for me, and I hadn't taken her really anywhere yet, dropping off everyone else, I guess my brain didn't register she was with me.

​http://www.reddit.com/r/TrueReddit/comments/18cmx3/fatal_distraction_forgetting_a_child_in_the
/
When my third child was under two months, I would go to the grocery store late at night. It was my only break from the kids. One night I walked back into the parking lot and heard crying. I thought what kind of parent has their kid out this late? Then I realized the crying was coming from my car. I opened the door and he had cried so hard he had thrown up all over himself. I pulled him out of his carseat and just sat on the curb rocking him for 10 minutes. I live in Florida it was July, if I had forgotten him during the day instead of the night he would have been dead. Being in jail would never compare to the abject misery I would have been in for the rest of my life. I'm sobbing my eyes out just thinking about it.

​My daughter was 4 months old, it was early spring, and I had just returned to work. I had a million things running through my mind as I drove her and myself to the store to pick up some things for work. I remember thinking about who I needed to call, what photocopies needed to be made, what meetings I had that week. I made the 5 minute drive to the store, and went inside. I put groceries in the cart. Picked up some office supplies. Walked to the baby aisle. I was about to call my husband and ask him how my daughter was doing, when I it hit me - I had taken my daughter. I left my cart in the middle of the aisle, and ran faster than I have run in my life.
I had been in the store for 23 minutes. When I got to the car, I found her bright red and whimpering, locked in her car seat. While the temperature outside wasn't higher than 65 degrees, the car was at least 90. I quickly pulled her to me, and held her while I bawled for the next hour. I couldn't forgive myself. It took a long time before I was able to. I still feel sick thinking about it. To this day, almost a year later, I still get anxiety every time I leave the car.
I NEVER thought it could happen to me. NEVER.

I remember one day driving to work when my oldest was about six months old. I was nearly to work when he made a noise in the back seat. I had completely forgotten about him and had to turn around and drive 10 minutes to his day care to drop him off.
Later that day, I heard the story of a woman in my state who had left her kid in the car and the child died. Everyone at my office was talking about how she was a terrible mother and horrible person. I sat in white fear at how close I was to doing the same thing.
We get tired. We fuck up.

When our youngest daughter was a couple of weeks old my husband took her to the grocery store. He bought a few things for the cook out we were having with a few friends. I took a shower while he was gone.
When he returned, I was getting ready and he came up to chat for a bit before our company arrived. Then I asked, "Where is Lily?"
The look of horror on his face. He had forgotten her in the car.
It was only a few minutes, but it affected him deeply.

http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/child-safety-seat-system-created-to-avoid-tragic-hot-car-deaths/

When my youngest was only a few months old I was heading to a well child appointment. I was exhausted as he had colic and did not sleep at all. When I was almost there I realized I had driven the whole way almost on autopilot. My usually loud toddler was home with Daddy and in the quiet I had almost forgotten what I was doing. If I had not been going to an appointment for him I might of forgotten he was there. It was scary.


​after my daughter's ballet class we stopped by a store, got out and went in looking with my daughter when all of the sudden it hit me...I screamed in hysterics running out of the store with my daughter upon realizing I had left my newborn in my car in Texas! As we were leaving the parking lot, the security guard came running out asking me if everything was alright. I smiled and said, "Yes!" never telling him of my horrible mistake. Thankfully we had not been in there but a minute and he was sleeping quietly in his car seat. I cried all the way home with the worst Mommy Guilt shaming myself of what a horrible mom I was. I still to this day cannot believe I did that, but I did

https://www.facebook.com/wsav3

I was so sick, and in such a rush to pick up meds last week, that I almost forgot my baby was sleeping in the back. Thankfully my older daughter was with me and was like, "mom, the baby!" It scared me to death. I never thought I could be something to do that. It only takes one second of not fully paying attention, and that's it.

http://www.cnycentral.com/news/story.aspx?id=1053592#.U5C7LPldWSo

Chrissy C· Top Commentator

I have almost done the same thing drove to work with my son in the backseat totally forgot to take him to daycare- thank god he started talking. Scary thoush


​https://www.facebook.com/cnycentral


Crystal S This almost happened to me. My daughter cried constantly, really non-stop, for the first year of her life. Shortly after she was diagnosed with food allergies and we changed her diet she just stopped crying. One of those first days, I was driving to work and my car was so quiet that I totally forgot about her in her rear facing car seat. Thank God, I remembered her when I was halfway across the parking lot. It happens and I'm blessed we didn't have this outcome. My heart is breaking for that poor family.

​The following were all posts to TV stations Facebook (Fox Atlanta, WSB 2, etc) pages after the June 18th incident in Georgia:

Yordanos C: I once was in hurry to go to work u completely forgot to drop off my 2 month old at her sitter. I pulled over inside the garage parking at work. I looked back to retrieve my bag. There was my baby smiling at me. Every since that day. I always put my bag in back seat.


Tony E: As a father of 2 I have had a day or two that I had to take the kids to daycare because the wife had to work a early shift. Yes they were asleep and I have driven more the. Half way to work before I look in the mirrors and see them back there and flip the car around. 



The same thing almost happened to me with my nephew. I had a lot on my mind and I was running all over town to make deadlines for my job and I had forgotten to drop my nephew off to the babysitter, (he's a good kid who's very quiet and usually falls asleep in the car). What saved me was that the babysitter called and asked if I was dropping him off that day or not. If not for her, God only knows what could've happened to him.  

Pearl J: I forgot my child in the car once when she was about a month old. I went to the grocery store and was not used to being out with her and left her in the car. Thank God I ran into a class mate's father in the store and he asked me about my girls. I remember thinking at that moment, " wait somebody is supposed to be with me." I ran to the car and she was red and sweating profusely already within about 10 minutes. She is 19 and the sweetest daughter anyone could ask for. I am tearful just thinking of what would have happened if he had not asked about the girls that day.


Code of the West • 5 hours ago
My son is a 20 year old Eagle Scout and currently testing to be a firefighter. When he was about 1 (before cell phones), I brought him with me to the store. He was so quiet on the ride that I literally forgot he was back there and went into the store without him. Fortunately I was in and out in 5 minutes. When I got back he just looked at me from his car seat and smiled. I was absolutely horrified and that haunts me to this day, even though nothing happened.

​http://edition.cnn.com/2014/06/25/opinion/hostin-hot-car-child/index.html?iid=article_sidebar

MK • 8 hours ago
I have three children. You might call me a helicopter parent - when they were smaller I was on top of them. At pools, at the mall, etc. Hyper aware, in the car too. I would read stories of accidental car deaths and tell anyone that would listen that the parent should be charged with murder. It enraged me.
Then when I was pregnant with my third baby, my beloved mom got sick and died not long before I gave birth. About a month after I gave birth I was, as most moms are, completely sleep deprived, and still deeply grieving. It was late November and I was in some post-partum pain and went to my doctor with my newborn in the back seat (my three and five-year-old were at school). It was the first time I'd been out with the new baby and he was peacefully sleeping in the rear facing car seat. I parked, walked into the medical building in a fog, sat down in the packed waiting room and picked up a magazine. I thought about my medical symptoms and then a bolt of lightning hit me - the symptoms were from childbirth. I have a newborn. And he's not with me. I literally couldn't breathe. I calmly got up, opened the door and sprinted to my van. It had probably been a total of five minutes, and the weather was cool. I opened the door and my baby was still sleeping peacefully, perfectly fine. But I wasn't. I can't express the feelings I had, and still have when I think about it. Now when I read about this happening to parents out of their routine I'm not so judgemental.

Ken Davis • 2 days ago
It happens, our son is 22 now, but it happened to us when he was about 2, my wife picked the kids up from day care, we have 3, he is the youngest, he feel asleep on the way home, she left him in the car seat (and was parked in the shade of our driveway), the girls went inside and she ment to go back out and get him, but something happened to distract her, having 3 kids will do that, I arrived home from work and assume he was taking a nap, about 30 min. later he came to the back door crying with a bloody nose, he had managed to wiggle out of the car seat on his own and open the car door and come up to the house. he was ok, but my wife has beat herself up over this for 20 years, she still talks about it and he remembers it, the earliest memory he has, t was traumatic, but it can happen, even to loving parents who care deeply about their children.

​Anna1953 • 3 days ago
Thank you for sharing this. I was a doctor, and I have had numerous parents, over the decades, fall apart in my office telling me how they had (even for just a moment) forgotten their child in a car on a hot day. Most have been too ashamed to tell anyone else. And most have been beating up on themselves ever since. It is good for adoring, protective parents to be able to admit, "I did this." And then, someday (maybe when that baby is fully grown, and the risk is no longer there?) forgive themselves.

​https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100603123042AAwSXuE


Luv_My_Baby 
I have once with my son. My husband still doesnt know about it to this day. (yeah I know horrible) He was a few monthes old, hardly slep, I was exhausted, we only had one car so I had just taken my husband to work. Thank god I realized what I had done withing a few minutes. I went to go do laundry as soon as I came home and took one look at the onsie I was about to toss in the washer and went running to the car like a crazy lady. It can happen to the best parent which is why when I read a story about this my heart breaks not only for the kid but for the parents.


http://wivb.com/2014/08/25/citizen-busts-car-window-to-remove-baby/?utm_content=buffer74828&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

​Lori • an hour ago
I was as self-righteous as the rest of you, thinking it couldn't be an accident. That was before one of my daycare moms came to my house visibly shaken one morning after driving all the way to work forgetting her daughter was in the back seat, until she, for some reason, looked into the back seat when she turned the car off. Then I knew it really could happen. I don't judge anyone anymore until they're proven guilty. That's the good thing about our judicial system.Robin Stasi Regan I left my baby in the car about 19 years ago and totally forgot he was with me because he was asleep. I remembered once I was in the store and dropped everything and ran out to the car. Thankfully he was still alive and still asleep. I consider myself a great parent and was totally distracted by so many things on my mine. Mine was a complete accident. The ones that leave their kids in the car to gamble, drink or leave them due to lack of child care.... That's a crime. It's all tragic.

http://www.oregonlive.com/hillsboro/index.ssf/2014/10/hillsboro_infant_who_died_alon.html

Tina - I had to go to the store when my new baby was about 2 weeks old. Of course, I was used to having her in my tummy not my arms. Not to mention.. new mother brain. My husband and older children were at home so there was no one to remind me about the baby who had to legally be in the back out of sight and mind. About 10 minutes in the store and I suddenly remembered the baby with a gasp and even said it out loud as I headed for the door.. running to get her. A lady heard me and looked at me very accusingly, "You what!" she yelled. "You left your baby in the car!" I was so scared I went home and didn't return to the store. I thought she would call the police on me or something. I loved my baby and now she is a healthy teenager. Accidents happen. They are not a crime.

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/what-kind-of-parent-leaves-their-kids-in-the-car-this-parent/

Stephanie Gray, Nashville, TN - 
http://www.childrenswishingwell.org/carseat_safety


Mike Terry, Maypearl, TX
http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2013/06/24/preventing-another-child-from-dying-in-a-hot-car

http://www.parents.com/baby/safety/car/danger-of-hot-car-for-children/
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